Week Nine

As I begin this writing, I take a deep breath of air. Nothing has changed over these last two weeks. Still disappointed, still stressed, still confused. Oh well... on to the assignment.

Meditation:

I don't know anymore. I cannot even sit and stare for a long time to look "within." I have no words to describe the state of mind that I am in. It's weird.

I just constantly question this. "This" being everything. In the last 72 hours I have contemplated cutting my hands and/or running away. Who am I becoming?

Prayer:

I have only talked to Bob about a few things. If he has listened, who knows? The topics?

• I need the strength to make a decision in my current relationship.
• I want the strength to stop hurting myself.
• I need the love I deserve around me.

Again, a breath of air. I just do not know.