Wtf?!?

I just do not know. I am sitting here and thinking back on these last few months and I realize, Bob and I are still deadlocked in our chess game yet he has abandoned me at the table. Alone.

Maybe he wants to see if I move a piece illegally or give up. I am sick of tests.

He isn't completely wrong. In the last few weeks, I have had an overwhelming feeling to cut myself when the pain gets too bad. I have not gone through with it because that is not who I am.

Seriously. What the fuck? I guess I will continue to wait...